Maxi Pads & Jockey Shorts

Funny inflammatory bowel disease

OK, here goes with a (very) personal confession. I’m not embarrassed by this confession, in fact I find it quite amusing, but that’s just my warped sense of humour at play probably 🙂

So, my confession is, I wear lady things! Now, now, settle down at the back, I don’t go dressing up on a Saturday night for my own pleasure! No, I wear Maxi pads in my underwear.

20160503_095020431_ios1Why? Well, I leak, blood mostly, sometimes just a watery red, sometimes quite heavy blood and clots and as you can imagine, that can be quite disturbing at work or when I’m out socially. I countered this for a long time by choosing to wear only black underwear (Jockey Shorts) and black jeans and stuffing my pants with toilet tissue. Not the best idea to be honest, it just disguised the problem and didn’t actually prevent my jeans from staining. I needed a solution to stop that GAK from appearing on the outside for all to see!

Enter a female friend of mine who gave me a maxi pad to try, BOOM, the light dawned on me and I got my own supply. Firstly, they work, catching any eeeerm deposits and keeping my clothing ‘Clean’. Secondly, they actually provided a bit of padding for my eternally sore bum-hole, especially when I ride my motorbike. Thirdly, I’m less afraid to break wind! I’m sure all fellow IBD’ers  will understand that it’s difficult to distinguish between a satisfying pump and the unexpected wet one 🙂 Result!

It’s not all plain sailing though, I wear fairly loose fitting jockey shorts because I can’t tolerate anything tight around my stomach. This loose fit means the pads can move around a wee bit and I find myself making adjustments frequently throughout the day. stymxpd

Perhaps part of the problem is that the pads ain’t exactly meant to be applied to the rear orifice, so they could be the wrong shape? I will need to find some snug fitting pants that don’t have a strong elastic around the waist. The challenge is on, not that I can go around the various outlets stuffing my bits and bobs into pants to try them for comfort, just imagine pulling on several different pairs in Primani then hanging them back up with a shake of the head and exclaiming ‘NOPE’! Poor form and it would probably get frowned upon 🙂

I know that there is a product called Tena Men which is for, shall we say, frontal drips but I don’t know of any products for catching botty burps etc.

Do you know of any pads for men?

‘BOTTY BUFFERS’ would be a great brand name if any manufacturers want to use it 🙂

Thanks for reading and please add your comments below 🙂

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  1. Oddly enough I kind of accidentally had a conversation on this sort of topic with my grandmother the other day. I was being rather blunt about how during ‘that time of the month’ for me meant an extra safety feature for unpleasant issues caused by all my recent gut problems. She shared with me how she uses the extra long night time sanitary napkins by always for my grandfather (who has Parkinsons and trouble controlling bodily functions…different problem but similar solution) because she finds they work better than the other brands at sticking and staying in the right place and they are so long and thin they can be attached high enough up the rear end without being visible through pants but still secured enough it doesn’t move around much even in boxer shorts (she showed me on a pair, haha). I don’t know if its because their adhesive service is better/bigger or if the pad is a better shape/length but she swears by them. I do agree though if this product isnt already on the market…it should be!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I suppose it seems odd for males to be seeking ‘female’ solutions to the problem, although I bet it’s more common than most men will admit to, but hey ho, no shame in trying to keep clean!

      Really appreciate the comment thank you, and now I’ve got to go down ‘THAT’ isle looking for the night time pads you mentioned 🙂


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